A Grown Up’s Gap Year – The Newsletter #23

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HELLO – HAPPY SUNDAY!

This isn’t about manifesting. Or magic. Or even a new you. It’s about visibility. Mid-life visibility. And agency. And a quiet refusal to sit out your second or third act just because it doesn’t all line up perfectly.

This week’s episode wraps Season One with a deceptively simple invitation:
Start acting as if the version of you you’re dreaming about… already exists.

If Episode One was the tipping point — that stark moment of realising something needs to shift (your lifestyle, your relationship, your own damn energy)…Episode Two was the important conversation about the ‘caring economy’ and we are not done with that – more coming again soon because THAT was the thing so many of you want to keep firmly on the table.
Then the Solo Travel episode gave you a glimpse of expansion…and maybe you have even ‘booked the trip’! Sparked by the experiences of hearing from our interview guests.

Then this episode is the pivot.

It’s not about dismantling your life. It’s about backing yourself for a minute. What if your so-called second act isn’t about waiting for perfect conditions, but about remembering who you are – and showing up for it?

The moment we stop dreaming about change – and start living it.
On purpose. In real life.

Living as if…

– As if you were already the version of yourself you always imagined you’d be.
– As if you trusted that vision enough to move toward it.
– As if you didn’t need anyone’s permission to prioritise your joy, your energy, your next act. Some time, for yourself.

Let’s talk about what happens when we stop waiting —
for the timing, the kids to be sorted, the finances to be perfect —
and start living like we’ve already said yes.

‘Why Not You, Why Not Now’?

After all, isn’t it YOUR TURN!

Love,

Monique x

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Remember our Values episode?

That’s the starting point.
It answers the question:
Why might I want to try a different shaped life on for size?
If you’re not currently living a life that feels like yours,
that’s where you begin.

Then comes the next question:
What does the next act look like
if I’m living in alignment with those values?

If you’re still not sure,
And — if you have a copy — flip to page 122 in A Grown Up’s Gap Year.
That section walks you through it.

I call it:
🎵 Designing Your Mid-Life Anthem
There’s also a short quiz on my website if you want help working out where to start.

My own “As If” began when I finally decided:

I’m a grown up.
I get to make decisions for the trajectory of my life —
without a committee hearing. Decision-making for myself again,

It’s the precursor to Why Not Now
and Why Not Me?

Oh, revelation.

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I dislike  acronyms. Fancy roadmaps. Any method that just becomes another way to stall the doing.

Sure, there are frameworks in A Grown Up’s Gap Year – and readers tell me they work.
Because when you’re pooped, it’s helpful to have someone say:
“This worked for me. Maybe for you, too.”

So I’ve coined this YOUR TURN: YOUR SPACE guide – a step by step plan.

Now – if you’re stuck further in the mire, if your health isn’t on your side, if the bank account’s looking bleak – I hear you. Those things matter. They are the foundation for everything good to come.

So if that’s where you’re at please:
Book the doctor’s appointment.
Call the accountant.
Sort the thing that needs sorting.

And when there’s a flicker of momentum? Come back. Pick up this thread.

SO, FOR YOU – HERE’S HOW TO START LIVING ‘AS IF’ YOU ALREADY WERE…

Not a business plan – just one line.
“I’m the kind of person;

– Who swims mid-week, so I can go on a solo SwimTrek tour.”
– Who writes before work so I can finish the book”
– Who applies for the job. Resigns from what no longer serves.”
– Who gets a handle on my hormones, nutrition, a style overhaul, so I can throw creeping invisibility to the curb.”

Say it. Write it. Scribble it on a napkin. If you can articulate it, you can start.

Then – set about doing what you can toward the ‘thing’.
Even the smallest possible physical action. Start exercising your ‘I can do’ muscle.

Drink the coffee while it’s hot. Pack your goggles. Turn your phone off. Send the “no thanks” text. Email yourself the course link. This isn’t theoretical – it’s kinetic. You don’t need a masterplan. You need a starting point.

Now – set the rhythm.
Give it a timeframe. A checkpoint. Remember, we treat ourselves like a project. A soft launch. Not forever. Just today. And then tomorrow again.

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(READ · LISTEN · STAY)

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“Blokes, you’ve been with us through Season One too. And this isn’t just about the women. It’s about you, and about us together.

So here are four takeaways as we wrap:

1. Start small. One consistent act beats the grand gesture you’ll never repeat. Cook dinner, make time to take a regular walk together, and perhaps your version of Sunday dinners for your kidults like my Bloke does with Mike’s Bites.
   
2. Listen properly. Ask your partner what she is dreaming about – and then really listen, without fixing.
   
3. Step in. Own part of the load – the mentoring of offspring are part of your picture, the logistics. Show you’re engaged, not waiting for instructions.
   
4. Claim your own project. Purpose isn’t a solo sport. Find your gap year at home – a pursuit, a ritual, a challenge. When you feel better, everyone wins.

So as we close Season One: Be curious and creative about your own next-act possibilities.

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