Ever tried to overhaul your life in one frantic weekend?
Same. It ends in regret, receipts, and an empty packet of sweeties.
So let’s not. Let’s do it the grown up way: one tiny move at a time.
With less pressure, and more soup (my grandma’s recipe FYI )
That’s why I wrote A Grown Up’s Gap Year in sound-bites – no mystical oils, no chapter-38 reveal. Just sharp questions and practical moves to unclutter a life that’s bursting at the seams.
Because when you are pooped you might like someone to say – this worked for me, it might be handy for you too.
Today’s issue is your starter-kit: clear space, set boundaries, spark momentum.
Until next Sunday – stay cosy.
Love & hugs,
Monique x
1 Why Taking a Moment Matters
Studies say we might live past 100.
That’s decades (plural) to:
Unload mental tabs you never signed up for
Put yourself back on your own to-do list
Rediscover what lights you up (besides rage at group texts)
Maybe even do the thing you once said “I’ll get to that later” about
Later is here, you know my mantra ‘don’t let your epitaph be ‘F**k I forgot to LIVE my life’.
“I map mid-life in seasons because rhythm beats regimen. When you’re burned out, a 12-week program feels like homework, but everyone understands Winter – hunker down, clear space, breathe – then Spring, stretch; Summer, leap; Autumn, harvest.”
2 Seasons are Vibes (not dates)
If the vibe right now is soup, silence, and a brief break from people – welcome to Wintering.
I made you a little seasonal map:
SEASON
WINTER
SPRING
SUMMER
AUTUMN
SENSE
Feel empowered
Feel invigorated
Feel adventurous
Feel connected
FOCUS
Rest, Audit, Simplify
Wellbeing reboot
Novelty & Courage
Harvest wisdom and relationships
3 Three Winter Sparks
Feeling flat? Try one of these.
Low-stakes, high-reward – and no cult sign-ups required.
The Drawer Test
Empty the scariest drawer. Keep what you love; ditch the rest.
Send them A Grown Up’s Gap Year – the podcast (launching next week with a new section DEAR BLOKES). Or just leave the fridge magnet where they’ll find it (see below).
A love letter (with checklist) from the women who carry the mental load.
We love you. We really do. But saying “you’re just better at it” no longer washes. This isn’t a whinge. It’s a wake-up. We’re not asking you to change the world – just take the bins out without asking where the bags are.
Let’s make this practical. Real. Crowd-sourced.
– What do you want the men in your life to see, do, or share more of? – What tiny shift has helped in your house?
Reply to this email or DM me @moniquevantulder – we’re building the list together. A united front = real change (and fewer fantasies about running away).
Listen | Podcast
Kate Kendall’s 5-Minute Breathwork (IGTV)
A mere five minutes of breathing (or drawing breath!) is all it takes to find mental clarity and respite from that dreaded ‘to do list’.
In this conversation, Monique shares the truth so many women over 50 will recognise: years of putting everyone else first, of pushing through fatigue and health scares, of saying yes when they wanted to say no.
