The Secrets of a Happy Marriage? Holiday Separately

 

NOTHING LIKE A WALK WITH GIRLFRIENDS to get you thinking (and talking)…In this instance about holidaying – without your partner. You see The Husband is away golfing with friends this weekend, nothing unusual for us as we have taken trips (separately) for many years.  Naturally when love was young (and so were we) we were rarely apart; it was loads of fun to discover we travel well together (a big tick).

Yet I have many friends who would fly to the moon before leaving home without their other half…

We had children and continued travelling – as a family. However, when the boys started a school where flexibility around taking leave is well; inflexible – then side trips and other adventures ground to a halt unless they fall in school holidays (it also gets expensive to try and move a whole family around in peak season).

Our separate journeys are more about timing – however a side benefit we discovered – being apart is great for our relationship…

It began with my London based sister sending out wedding invitations – location: a Villa in the middle of Italy – not somewhere you can pop off to for a weekend.  I was always going; that was never in question – it was just who I was going with. Long story short – my Mum came, The Husband stayed home with the kids.  I wept buckets as the plane took off (in five years I hadn’t left the boys for longer than a few hours at a time), Mum handed me tissues all the way to Rome.

In the end I stopped crying and had a fantastic time, the wedding was stunning and we took a side-trip to Mum’s childhood home in The Netherlands. I also discovered myself again; the ‘me’ that was hidden in the blur that was six years of happy marriage; and having two babies in quick succession. The family joke is; on landing – I cried again – this time because I had enjoyed myself so much, I wanted the holiday to keep going.

Not long after I arrived home The Husband had a significant birthday – so I gifted him a ticket to ski in the wilds of Canada with his mates. Then a trip to London for me to see new nieces; and a ‘Sisters side-trip’ to Paris – my Dad moved back to Holland; thus began a trend.

It’s no secret The Husband loves; lives for; (insert your own version of obsession here) Golf. We do try and have family golf breaks; but the boys and I don’t enjoy it as much as he does – so other times he goes with his friends.

The Husband has no desire to travel to India; I have been obsessed with going since my teens. Earlier this year I went with three girlfriends; we are now planning a Moroccan sojourn.

Many of our friends can’t understand how we wing this. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t take hard work before I get off the ground. Military style planning for school lunches; and dinners; and activity drop off; and sporting timetables; and uniforms; and YES a supportive fall back person/people; to take care of ‘things’ in your absence is essential (I don’t ask what happens while I am away…probably pizza every night and dirty clothes…).

By the time I hit my airline seat I am shattered – but it’s a happy tired and in my book well worth it.

Trips needn’t be far afield (or break the bank); plenty of girlfriends have get-togethers at a treat hotel in the city; or hire a beach-house for a relaxing weekend. The options are endless.

If you can swing it, I highly recommend it. I arrive home happy to be back, but grateful for the time out to just be me for a while…and The Husband? Let’s just say absence can make the heart grow fonder and after 15 years of marriage that must only be a good thing…

Do you travel without your partner?

Which destination do you dream of visiting, that your other half doesn’t want to?